Nothing Is Scarier Than Sitting Still.


I have been trying to decide what should be the first post on this blog for the last week or two but today I went to yoga class and that seems like a pretty good way to start. Welcome to my blog.

Sunday night I fell asleep last night at 4 am. I woke up at 9:20. I had set my alarm for 9:30. Had I slept the entire 5 and a half hours, I would have gotten just enough sleep to feel capable of making it through the day, but 5 hours and 20 minutes will have to do today.

As soon as I awake, I grab my iPhone and scroll through dozens of texts, emails and Facebook messages. I respond to every text and every Facebook message that warrants a response. Then I dive into my email and respond to a few of those. I check my Twitter @ messages. I check my Instagram notifications. I toss my phone back onto the ground and close my eyes for 30 seconds and think about how even though I’m awake, the alarm is still just a few minutes away from ringing. I jump up, turn it off and get in the shower.

I put on some extremely loud rap music and I brush my teeth. The music is crass but it motivates me. At this moment, motivation is what I need. Going back to sleep is easy. It’s an option, but it’s an unacceptable one.

I turn the water on in the shower. I’m standing there naked now with my left hand under the shower head. The water is cold. I feel like a little kid. It occurs to me that standing naked outside the shower waiting for the water to turn warm is something I was doing when I was 5, something I’m doing right now at 29 and it’s probably something I’ll be doing until the day I die.

The shower only lasts a couple minutes but it gives me time to think about how fucking nervous I am. For I am about to go to yoga class.
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